ru.scfiiaptertorethanaguy.he
thought,heanalyzed,heuood.heingforrachelto
talk.racheltotalk.alkedfirsttook
thegreaterrisk.
thethinghatifhedidnttakeanyrisk,hewassureashell
goingtoenduphthekindoflifehehadjusthad.thatlifewas
gray,foggy,zzy,da.it.
rachelslifehaddepth.ithadlorandth.sheuldaffordto
tospeak.shehadlesstoloseiftheyneverdid.
soit.
thathisbrainsaid.hisheartsaidthatheuldntbareall
hthegirlsthere,andhegirlsthere,katherinewas,
orcharlie,orfaye,ahegirlsk.
eveningho.theastroadheinthe
aerofasettingsunthatgildedeboulders,layer
afterlayerofgreeninghills.thereoitsbeauty,a
softthesurf.tellher,askher,begher,itsaid,
repeatingitsssagehtherushofthewaves.
atthebankofilboxes,hetuedoffthehighartedupthe
hill.ifthessagehadntalreadybeeningrainedinhitheyon
thewoodswhenhe
cliedfrohecar,justthatnaggingellher,
askher,begher.
zl”uh...”hestoppedonthefrontporch.santhaandhopewere
alreadyinside.”hey...uh.”hopektothedoor.
”sohishair,feelingasudden
direneed.”gosasanthacaupbehindhope.
”listen,youtforyourselvesfora
babies,”santhasaid,butkindly.”whereareyougoing”hewas
alreadyheadingba.
”thedrivebaelaseasy.thesuheroadgrew
darker.hetuedonhisheadlights,buttheydidntshohe
odo.ituntilhepassedthehighlandsandsahe
lightsofrossthebaythathehadaclue.
rachelhoveredonthebrinkoftears.heachhourthatpassed,the
realityoftheact,thea,andthebloodclotsankindeeper.
shehadneverbeenoodortality,butitwashard
nottonoahoughtabout
katherineandaboutfaith.justpicturingtheaveherstrength.
sotherehat,andthegirls,andherk.andjack.
andrejack.sheryingtoprocessallshehadbeentoldabout
hitryingtofigureoutand.sheliked
puttingthingsinpiles.shedidntcareifthereesshina
pile,aslongasthereblanceoforder,piletopile.
sihedivorce,shehadkeptjaapileofhisoa
pile.dozensofthoughtsaionslyand
high.forthestpart,sheokeeptheeparatefrohe
restofherlife.theoasionalspilloverained.
thatwashowshesurvived.
nohough,jackteredeveryouchedthegirls.he
touel,touchedthehousein
bigsur,toucheddundfaith.hetouchedherwork.
lsheessingthings
up.
sheuldntunthoseotherpeopleandthings.
thenheappearedatthedoortoherroondherheartvedrightup
toherthroat.shesitdidntbudge.
”hi,”hesaid.afterseveralsendsohreshold,heca
inside.
”idroppedthegirlsbackho.”heputhishandsonhishipsand
lookedarouhenhiseyesretuedtohers.
saysothing,shetoldherself,butherthroatlosedandhereyes
ist.saysothing,she.
”ithoughtybe”hebeganandclearedhisthroat.”iknos
latewell,thereshetookabreathandaskedstraightout,”doyou
totakearide”shehadntexpectedthat.thetearshungon
herlids.sothihahroatsqueezedherheart.standing
there,allsixtwithhissportshirtrolledtotheelbow,
fadedjeans,hisheringhair,andunsurenesshelookedsodear.
”youhaveofthisplat
on.”ihavetheneairs.ikeepyououtlongunless
yourenervousbeinginacar,aftertheact.”
”idoheact.”
”ifyouretootired”iot,”shesaid.shepushedherselfup,
carefullyeasinghercastedlegovertheside.heightgoo
herankles.shereachedforherhes.
”ificarryyou,you,”hesaidhsuch
gentlehatthetearsretued.shebrushedthehthe\t
heelsofherhandsandethathe
hadcarriedher,butitesincehe
divorce.iteinsixlohattheir
bodieshadbeensoclose.
”ivebeendoingthisforseventeendays,”herrectedasheslipped
hisarunderher.heliftedhereexquisitegentleness
thathadbeeninhisvoice.
sheheldherselfstifflyatfirst.
,notfortable”heaskedasheheadedforthedoor.
”asaroundhisneck,buryherface
againsthisthroat,andhangon,butsheened.givinginto
aeantroubleiftheakenahis
allorodetotheationandsaidtotwonursesand
aresident,”iakingwifeforaride.wellbegoneanhour.is
thereanyreason”thenurseslookedateachother,then
attheresident,allydone.”
”thatsnotagoodreason,”ja”he
reachedforthephone.”illkhdr.bauer.”jacktookthat
asperssionaoffdohehall.
iotyht,butdidntsayit.shedidnt
tueoversonice.shesettled
inalittleandthoughtaboutseeingthecar.shethoughtabout
sllingfreshair,ratherthanhospitalsterility.shethoughtabout
feelingalive.
thenightandclear.itnosoonerenvelopedherwhenhereyes
filledhtearsagaiookadeepbreath,thengaspedwhenshe
saallhalogenlightlitthecarwell.
”itsred”shecried.”thegirlsdidwasredi
haventhadarede”sihevhoughtite.”
hefreedahandenoughtoopenthedoorandcarefullysettledher
inside.headjustedtheseattokererooorhercastand
fasteheseatbeltbe
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